My Friend—a Tribute

by Donna Poole

Joan was my friend.

Those four simple words—Joan was my friend—carry forty years of shared life, love, laughter, and tears.

My first meeting with Joan taught me a lot about her. She was a member of a neighboring church, Locust Corners Baptist, where she loved Pastor and Audrey Potter. Their church invited our church, Lickley’s Corners Baptist, to attend something special. I forget what it was. Forgive me, it was long ago, and I can’t remember yesterday. After the meal our two churches shared, I walked by the kitchen and saw a blonde lady washing dishes in the sweltering heat. Her hair was plastered to her forehead, but she had a beautiful smile. And she was working alone.

“Where are the dish towels?” I asked.

“Visitors don’t do dishes,” she said.

“This one does,” I said.

“No, she doesn’t,” she replied, smiling.

I started opening drawer after drawer. She laughed, told me where the towels were, and we did dishes together. I found a friend that day. When Locust Corners sadly had to close, God gave our church a wonderful gift, Joan, Jerry, Jamie, and Jenny. We loved them all, and Joan became a close friend.

How do you put forty years of friendship into a few words?

Through the many years that followed, as long as she was able, Joan helped do everything there was to do at church and always did it with a smile, just like the first day I met her. If I told you all Joan did for our church and others, I’d have to write a book. So, I’ll mention just a few. Joan poured herself into helping in children’s church, Vacation Bible School, potlucks, cooking meals for others, baking her beautiful cakes, and being part of the “Seams Good Quilters.” And she sent John and me so many cards and letters of encouragement.

When our daughter, Kimmee, was little, Joan and Jerry, or Joan and Jennie, bought her a doll every year for her birthday. One year, shortly before Easter, Joan took Kimmee shopping and bought her a new Easter dress, shoes, socks, hat, and even a little purse.

Whenever I thanked Joan for one of her hundreds of acts of kindness she reminded me it was just the Lord. But it was also Joan letting Jesus love through her. I don’t know if Joan ever prayed this Amy Carmicahel prayer, but she sure lived it: Love through me, Love of God. Make me like Thy clear air, through which, unhindered, colors pass, as though it were not there.”

Friendship is sacred to me, and it was to Joan. She had many friends. If you were her friend, you would be her friend forever. Everyone should have a Joan. The world would be a much better place.

Joan and I were co-conspirators for a time. We prayed for years for a new fellowship hall at church. Then we decided on action. Every Sunday we cornered a trustee or two and asked, “How are plans coming for the new fellowship hall? And you better hurry because we aren’t getting any younger you know!” God and the trustees finally answered our prayers!

Joan, Gina Bradstreet, and I shared a special bond. We couldn’t decide if we were the three musketeers or the three stooges. But we knew we would always love each other, and we did, through fun and heartbreak, and through all of life’s changes. Gina moved to South Carolina. Joan moved to a nursing home. I got cancer. But whenever Dan and Gina came home to Lickley’s Corners, we three friends, from three different states, got together. And it was like we’d never been apart. Now Joan has moved again, to a far better place called heaven, but we’ll be together again.

Not being able to come to church after she moved into a nursing home was a great sorrow to Joan. This year, at Christmas time, our son Danny drove our church bus, and a few of us took church to Joan. We sang Christmas carols, and the love and joy on her face lit up her small room. It’s a beautiful memory I cherish.

I have so many memories of Joan. During the last week of her life, I held her hand, and even when she was no longer conscious, John and I talked to her about times we’d shared with her through the years. Some were serious, some sweet, and some funny, like the time her dog peed in Kimmee’s boot, and Joan was horrified, and Kimmee couldn’t stop laughing. We read the Bible to Joan during her last week. She loved Pastor Potter’s favorite song, “The Unclouded Day,” so we played that for her. We sang songs about heaven to her. Poor Joan. I sing a lot, but I really can’t stay on tune. Perhaps that’s why she finally left us to go Home to heaven, just to escape my singing!

We saw so many of Joan’s family that last week, and her daughter Jennie was with her constantly. How Joan loved her family, and her church family. And how she prayed for all of us! I’m going to miss that. Someday all who trust Jesus as Savior from sin will be together forever in heaven. Please be sure you know Jesus! Family and friendships will be unbroken in heaven. But until then, we need each other. Let’s gather in our churches. Let’s pray for each other. Let’s each be a Joan, and let’s walk each other Home.

Blessed are the friends who make us laugh, the ones who pray, the ones who last! Blessed are the friends who walk us Home, though far apart, we’re never alone. Blessed are the friends who see our tears and stay beside us through the years. Sometimes we’re sad and tired too; God saw that, so He gave us you.

We remembered you with love yesterday at your celebration of life service, my dear friend. I love you Joan, and I miss you. See you soon.

The end.

***

These blogs are now available in book form on Amazon:

Backroad Ramblings Volume One: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter

Backroad Ramblings Volume Two: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter

Backroad Ramblings Volume Three: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter

Backroad Ramblings Volume Four: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughterl

Gina, me, and Joan