by Donna Poole
President’s Day is as good a time as any to take a test, so here’s one for kids and grandparents. Which president of the United States had only one tooth? Who was so chubby people nicknamed him, “His Roundness”? What one skinny-dipped in the Potomac River every morning?
Here’s your test, written in first person by each president. A perfect grade wins you a trip to the White House. No, not that White House, just to the home of any friend or neighbor who lives in a white house. Tell them I sent you.
Do you have your number two pencil ready? Go!
One: I wore my bright red hair in a ponytail, and some people called me, “Red Fox.” I was 6’ 2” tall and had huge hands and feet. I loved food and wrote a cookbook. I refused to gamble, drink, use tobacco, or swear, and I washed my feet in cold water every morning to prevent colds. I played the violin, knew many languages, and enjoyed science. Many people of my day thought tomatoes were poisonous; to prove them wrong I grew the first tomatoes in the United States. I kept my pet Mockingbird, Bill, in my White House study. Before becoming president, I worked for three years to bring religious freedom to Virginia. When I was thirty-three, I drafted the Declaration of Independence. I died on July 4, the same day John Adams did. Who am I?
Two: When I was a boy I fell out of a boat and almost drowned. I had another close call when a Native American shot at me from close range but missed. I loved running, jumping, climbing, and riding horses. I did most of my schooling at home. I tried to run away to sea when I was fourteen, and when I was fifteen, I began work as an assistant surveyor. The first girl I proposed to rejected me. I bet she regretted that when I became president! I was tall, 6’ 3”, and wore a size thirteen shoe. By the time I became president I had only one tooth left. I wore teeth from cows, hippos, and other people. You may not have any trouble guessing my identity: I’m called the father of our country.
Three: I didn’t have even one tooth; I lost them all but refused to wear false ones. I was only 5’7” tall and weighed 250 pounds. People called me, “His Roundness.” As a boy, I milked cows, fed horses, and helped in the kitchen. I enjoyed marbles, boating, swimming, and wrestling. The Native Americans taught me how to hunt. I liked hunting better than school, but still became state spelling champion when I was ten. When I grew up, I married Abagail, a preacher’s daughter. We had five children, and our oldest son also became a president. We were the first family to live in the White House and my wife hung laundry in the unfinished East Room. I was blunt; I said what I meant, so some people called me rude. I died on July 4, the same day as Thomas Jefferson. Who am I?
Four: Unlike some of the other presidents, I didn’t play outside much as a child. I was too sick. My hobbies were reading and bird watching. I was the first president to wear long pants; the others all wore knee breeches. Come to think of it, I was so short, perhaps I only thought they were long pants. I was the smallest of the first eleven presidents, under 5’6” and about one-hundred pounds. Some people called me, “Frail Jimmy.” I helped fight for religious freedom. My wife was the first to serve ice cream in the White House. When the British invaded Washington in August 1814, my wife refused to leave without saving a portrait of George Washington that still hangs in the White House today. The British ate our warm meal they’d forced us to leave, then stacked the White House furniture, and set it on fire. I’m known as the father of the Constitution. Who am I?
Five: Unlike a certain other president, I never won a spelling contest. I didn’t like school and never learned to spell well. I did learn to read before I was five years old and loved books. They say I was a wild, barefoot boy with a bad temper and always ready to fight. I often played tricks, like turning over out-houses. I joined the army when I was fourteen. When I was sixteen, Grandfather died and left me some money, but I wasted it all. I grew tall, six feet, but weighed only 140 pounds. I was the first president who didn’t come from a rich family. My wife and I didn’t have any children, but we raised her brother’s six children. At the children’s Christmas party one year, my vice-president lost a game and had to run around the room gobbling like a turkey. My nickname was “Old Hickory,” but my political enemies liked to call me “King Andrew.” My last words were, “I hope to meet each of you in heaven.” Have you guessed my name yet?
Six: My father was a Virginia planter, and I was the oldest of five children. I liked to hunt and ride horses. I grew to be over six feet tall, and people said I looked like George Washington. I had a secret compartment in my desk no one discovered until 1906. They found in it letters from Jefferson, Madison, John Marshall, and Lafayette. My wife liked to be called, “Her Majesty,” and my two daughters, considered snobs by many, spent all my money. I died a poor man. Who am I?
Seven: You may think you have a large family, but beat this! I had two brothers, fives sisters, and twenty-one foster siblings. They expelled me from school when I tackled the teacher and tied him up on the floor. I loved playing the violin, target shooting, and fox hunting. I was a vice-president but became president when the president died after only a month in office. My last child was born when I was seventy years old. I wasn’t a popular president, and after I left office, the North called me a traitor because I became a member of the Confederate Congress. Who am I?
Eight: When I was a boy I enjoyed trapping, gardening, swimming, and horseback riding. As a man I liked to play billiards, walk, read, raise plants, ride horses, swim, and read my Bible. I read the Bible through at least once a year. Every morning before breakfast I read chapters of it first in English, then in French, and then in German. I published a book of poetry. Around five every morning I skinny-dipped in the Potomac River. I wasn’t a favorite with reporters; I refused to give any interviews; perhaps I feared the reporters would follow me to the river. I was 5’7” and quite heavy. I wore the same hat for ten years. My father was a president too. Have you guessed my identity?
Nine: When I was a boy I hid in the barn and read when it was time to do chores. I was the oldest of ten children and was born on a farm in the North Carolina frontier. I was a thin 5’8” tall. I became president when I was forty-nine. My wife and I disapproved of drinking, card playing, and dancing, and we banned them from the White House. At my inauguration party, they stopped the music and hid the liquor for the two hours my wife and I were there. I wonder what they did after we left? We had no children. My wife was my secretary and worked with me twelve to fourteen hours a day. Who am I?
Ten: My father signed the Declaration of Independence, and I was the youngest of his seven children. I eloped with my bride; we eventually had ten children. One of my grandsons later became president. I liked to study the Bible and ride horses. I was a famous fighter and a major general in the War of 1812, my nickname was “Old Tippecanoe.” Some people thought I was too old, at sixty-seven, to become president, and they called me “Granny.” I stood on the east steps of the Capitol to give my inaugural address. It was a cold, rainy, windy day, but I didn’t wear a coat or hat. My speech lasted one hour and forty minutes; some say it was two hours. I got sick and died of pneumonia one month after my swearing in as president. Who am I?
Eleven: I was the first president who was born an American citizen. I grew up speaking Dutch better than English because my ancestors emigrated from the Netherlands. I became an assistant lawyer when I was sixteen. I was about 5’6” tall and had blue eyes and curly red sideburns. My nicknames were “Little Magician” and “Little Van.” Most people thought I had a happy disposition; people said I was gentle and soft-spoken. I loved giving speeches and was pretty good at it, even as a boy. I also like opera and fishing. I really enjoyed telling jokes and even told them to my fiercest political enemies. Who am I?
Answers:
- Thomas Jefferson
- George Washington
- John Adams
- James Madison
- Andrew Jackson
- James Monroe
- John Tyler
- John Quincy Adams
- James K Polk
- William Henry Harrison
- Martin Van Buren
Did anyone get all the answers correct?
The End
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These blogs are now available in book form on Amazon:
Backroad Ramblings Volume One: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
Backroad Ramblings Volume Two: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
All my books are available at amazon.com/author/donnapoole
