by Donna Poole
“Bye bye escalators. They always scared me. Lol.”
That’s what my friend Pam posted on her Facebook page. Boscov’s in Binghamton, New York is doing a ten-million-dollar upgrade and replacing its escalators, the last ones in the area, with elevators.
Mom Poole liked to shop; I think she may have gotten some of her lovely suits at Boscov’s. I never liked shopping, unless it was in a bookstore, and my wardrobe reflected it. Once, when I was back home at Mom and Dad Poole’s for the holidays, Mom, Lonnie, and I decided to leave the kids with the guys and do a little after Christmas shopping. We were ready to leave when Mom looked at me and almost cried. I soon discovered I wasn’t wardrobe approved.
What? I’m wearing my denim skirt, my new red knee socks, and I have my long hair pulled around to the front in two ponytails tied with thick red yarn bows. I look great!
I didn’t say that out loud, just listened to the conversation between Mom and Lonnie. Poor Lonnie, she was always the family peacemaker and sometimes distressed at unable to keep the peace.
I wasn’t deaf then like I am now, so I heard every word even though they spoke quietly.
Mom: I’m not taking her out in public looking like that.
Lonnie: Mom, she looks fine. Please don’t say anything.
Mom: What if one of my friends sees her? I’m not doing it.
Mom turned to me. “Donna, will you please go change your clothes? You can’t wear those red knee socks.”
I did, but I’m not sure what I changed into met with any greater approval; I wasn’t exactly the fashion queen, and what looked fine to my country friends obviously didn’t to the town fashionistas!
I don’t think we shopped at Boscov’s that day. I’m sure we did hit up Philly Sales because that’s where we always bought paper, boxes, tags, and bows for the next Christmas, and if any of you are from the Triple Cities area, you’ll know my first outfit was probably over dressed for Philly Sales.
Had we stopped at Boscov’s it would have taken all my courage to get on the escalator, especially without John. When he’s with me, he tells me when to step on and off. I can’t judge distance and that puts me at a disadvantage in some things, and escalators are one.
It took years and a reoccurring nightmare to make me acknowledge I was afraid of escalators. Growing up I didn’t want to admit I was afraid of anything, not me, not Donna Piarulli, not the Donna who would try anything once!
University of Michigan Hospital, my home away from home, has an escalator. I avoid it like its covered with Covid. In the eleven plus years I’ve been going there for one thing or another I’ve only used it once.
As I grew older my list of fears grew with me, and they made no sense. I discovered I was afraid of jumping into water even though I love swimming. I found I’m terrified of public speaking—or I was. When I had brain surgery my family swears the neurosurgeon forgot to replace my filter, and now I’m not afraid to speak in public anymore. This is not always a good thing.
When Kimmee, our youngest daughter, was little she had a school assignment to write a sentence about something she was afraid of.
“I can’t do this,” she said. “I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Everyone is afraid of something,” I told her. “Go upstairs and write that sentence.”
She returned triumphant. Her sentence said, “I am afraid of Mommy’s homemade chicken noodle soup.”
Fair enough! I knew she hated that soup!
Some fear makes sense; we have a built-in warning system that alerts us to danger. Some fear isn’t logical though.
Fear is so sad, isn’t it?
Do you know fear’s origin? It’s almost but not quite as ancient as man. Adam and Eve had never known fear. They wouldn’t have been able to define it. They loved talking to God when he came to converse with them in the cool of the day, but the day they disobeyed him they ran and hid when they heard him calling them.
Adam finally answered God’s call and said, “I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid.”
No longer was the garden the place of perfect peace. When sin entered, so did fear. The Bible doesn’t say this but it’s logical to suppose all God’s creatures also felt fear for the first time. Have you ever noticed all the wild creatures look over their shoulders in fear, ready to run?
One of our cats, Louie, came inside as a tiny kitten. He’s always been loved, never mistreated, but poor Mr. Lou is afraid of everything and everyone. Sometimes he’s even afraid of us if there’s anything different about us. If we carry groceries in from the car, we look different to him, so he panics and runs.
Fear, rational or irrational: we all face it, and the Bible has something to help. In the King James Version “fear not” appears sixty-three times. Why don’t we have to be afraid? God hasn’t given us a spirit of fear, but he has given us one of love and a sound mind (cf. 2 Tim. 1:7).
I suppose life’s greatest fear is, “What’s going to happen to me after I die?”
We may fear punishment for our sins. But on the cross Jesus, the Son of God, suffered the guilt and shame for every sin ever committed, even sins so dark we can’t imagine them. All that’s left for us to do is to admit we’re sinners who need a Savior! Then God’s love drives out all fear of punishment (cf. I John 4:18) and promises us heaven.
Still, in this world, we aren’t perfect, and we’re going to be afraid sometimes. That’s when we run to Jesus who understands more about fear than we ever will. Did you ever read the account of his emotions in the garden before he went to the cross?
I don’t know who said this, but I love it. “The sheep don’t have to fear the wolf if they stay close to the Shepherd.”
Will God keep us safe? Does he promise no harm will come to us or those we love? In our dreams, maybe, but not in real life. In real life he says, “Yes, you’ll walk through the valley of the shadow of death, but I will be with you.”
In Jesus, we have someone to talk to about our fears, someone who will face them with us. And if fears get too overwhelming, it’s no sin to get professional help.
On this earth fear will always be with us and with the poor animal kingdom. Until it won’t. We all know fear won’t follow us to heaven, but fear won’t always be a part of earth life either. One day, even the animal kingdom will have peace.
I love this promise from Isaiah 11:6-9: “The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them. And the cow and the bear shall feed; their young ones shall lie down together: and the lion shall eat straw like the ox. And the sucking child shall play on the hole of the asp, and the weaned child shall put his hand on the cockatrice’ den. They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain: for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.”
And Pam! Either there won’t be any escalators, or we won’t be afraid of them anymore. We’ll dance our way up and down them. I’m going to wear my red knee socks.
The End
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These blogs are now available in book form on Amazon:
Backroad Ramblings Volume One: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
Backroad Ramblings Volume Two: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
Backroad Ramblings Volume Three: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
I have six other books on Amazon as well, four fiction books in the “Life at the Corners” series, and two children’s Christmas picture books.
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