by Donna Poole
It’s inevitable.
It happens to all of us if we live long enough—we grow old.
This year nature is doing a lovely job of growing old. From the earliest slant of the eastern sun until the last rays in the west highlight their glory, the leaves glow breathtakingly beautiful in every light. I catch my breath with wonder; I can’t see them often enough. Too soon, they will be gone.
The past two Sundays, instead of going straight home from church, Kimmee, our daughter drove me around the block on our own color tour. Out here on the backroads “around the block” is a four-mile glorious drive on mostly dirt roads. We encountered very little traffic, maybe a car or truck or two. Kimmee stopped and took photos often, so it took a while to get home. But it didn’t take long enough.
The combination of age and a stubborn cancer has opened my eyes and heart to so many things. A half hour bouncing down dirt roads viewing autumn leaves with our daughter is as amazing to me as a trip to Hawaii might be to some people.
So many “ordinary” things are beautiful now. On Saturday we celebrated our oldest daughter’s fiftieth birthday and our brother-in-law’s seventieth. It was a combination effort; I made the basic food; my sister brought a delicious macaroni salad, brownies, and chips, and Kimmee did what Kimmee does—the fancy desserts, the charcuterie boards, the beautiful table decorations, a hot chocolate/coffee/tea/hot cider bar complete with new mugs to take home, and so many other loving touches.
Love ruled that evening. We’re all getting a little older. We all know life is passing faster than we expected it would.
When it was time for the regretful goodbyes, I got up from the couch easier than I usually do; I’m on steroids to counteract side effects of treatment. I can’t sleep, but oh, it’s wonderful to feel half-way normal for a few days. But even medicated I don’t stand as quickly as I once did. Our tiny granddaughter, Ruby, hurried over to me and slipped her little hand in mind.
“I don’t want you to fall,” Ruby said to me.
She smiled. Ruby’s smile would make the loveliest maple in all its autumn glory jealous.
“I won’t, honey,” I promised.
Oh, but I will. We all will, won’t we?
I don’t expect to die from cancer. It will probably be something far more ignominious and laughable.
Once, a few years ago, I tripped outside and fell hard, landing with my head in the hosta plants. My alarmed family rushed to see if I’d hurt myself. I was laughing too hard to get up. That’s the kind of thing that will take me out.
“Seventy-four-year-old woman dies laughing after falling head-first into the hostas.”
I even have my obituary written. Four simple words. “That’s All She Wrote.”
I hope I haven’t offended anyone, but gallows humor and laughter seem to run in our family.
There was a lot of sweet laughter at our family gathering. John and I went outside to wave goodbye to the last who were leaving and watched the taillights disappear down the road.
When will we all get together again? Will it ever happen?
Life wasn’t as sad when we were younger, but neither was it as sweet. We didn’t delight as much in family gatherings because it never seemed then that “the last time might be the last time.” Now, so many family members are in heaven. Now, we know better. We cherish the moments.
There is something beautiful about aging. I listened for a minute to the crickets and the rustle of the leaves before I went back inside.
There’s a secret to growing old joyfully, I think. For me, it began when I was a child and put my hand in God’s and trusted Him to take me safely Home, no matter what storms might come up on the way. Jesus lived the perfect life I couldn’t live and died to remove my sins from me as far as the east is from the west. Because Jesus is my Savior, God says to me, “You can trust me. The journey might not be easy, but I’ll get you there.”
I’m discovering another secret to joy. It’s how to grow young.
It seems I’ve knitted life’s scarf wrong and now I’m unraveling it. I’ve learned too many things that have made my spirit old. Now I’m unlearning them all and growing younger. I want everything but love stripped away from my heart—and, oh, there’s a long way to go. Anything unloving in my thoughts blocks the sun; I can’t see the simple beauty of love, family, friendship. I can’t catch my breath at the glory of the sun turning the reds and yellows of leaves transparent if I’m burdened with bitterness, hurt, worry, or—you get it. You don’t need the whole long list.
In the end all I want is to be a Ruby. A person who comes along, takes your hand, and says, “I don’t want you to fall.”
And then we’ll go for a ride together, worship the Artist of the leaves, and think how beautiful it can be to grow old.
“Let me grow lovely, growing old—
So many fine things do.
Lace and ivory and gold
And silks need not be new.
There is healing in old trees,
Old streets a glamor hold.
Why may not I, as well as these,
Grow lovely, growing old?” –Unknown
Beautiful!! Thank you….wonderful, wonderful God we do worship.
Doris,
Yes, we do. The old hymn is true–He’s sweeter as the years go by!
God bless you.
Donna
What a beautiful tribute to life. And to little Ruby. When my dad had Parkinson’s, our little Luke followed him like a guard dog everywhere he went to make sure he didn’t fall, all 3 feet of him. It was very precious, just like Ruby. They have an inborn spirit that tells them to watch over others.
Deanna,
What a precious story! It’s sad any of us lose that inborn spirit. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all got it back?
God bless you!
Donna
I really enjoy your”rambling “. This one really touched my heart.
Jannette,
Thank you for touching my heart!
God bless!
Donna
Wonderfully written. Growing old gracefully is not for sissies!
Joan,
Not for sissies for sure! 🙂 I’ve tripped over this a time or a hundred thousand! 🙂
God bless you.
Donna
This needs to be printed along with the pictures. In spite of all you’ve gone and are going through physically you keep blessing us with your great talent . Thank you, dear “mature” friend for sharing with us. Love and prayers.
Karin,
My friend in the hurricane state, you and yours know all about more than one kind of storm. Thank you for your faith.
God bless you!
Donna
Absolutely beautiful! I’m so thankful for these words that God gave you. They reinforced the words read today in Chapter 1 of Unshakeable Hope by Max Lucado. God is like that. He so often reiterates His teaching in many ways and through many voices. Thank you for being one of those voices He’s using in my life. Bless you!
Hi Sarah!
I’m glad this blog encouraged you, and yes, God sure does do things like that, doesn’t He?
I just read the newest journal entry for Chuck. Praying!
God bless!
Donna
Thanks, Donna!
Simply beautiful, full of love. Thank you for blessing my heart once again, dear Donna. Praying always for you, my friend.
Deborah,
Thank you for praying for me. Some days I feel stronger, and I know people are praying.
I know you’re enjoying the beautiful colors that will so soon be gone.
God bless!
Donna
My dear Donna,
I had never considered “growing young” but I love the thought of it! Getting rid of all bitterness and hurts I have accumulated through the years, keeping love and kindness only. How wonderful that would be. To me it always helps to have a young person around. I am so blessed to have my almost three year old great grandchild who is simply filled with joy. I’ve often wondered how and when we lose that as we grow older. A couple of weeks ago her mommy took her to an outdoor movie the local university was presenting for young children. The movie kept stopping and restarting, it was very cold out, the popcorn wasn’t very well popped, and my granddaughter was disappointed as she had been looking forward to a special night out with her little one, as she was buckling her into her car seat, her daughter looked at her and said “this was the best night ever, Mommy. I had so much fun.” My granddaughter suddenly realized that what she had thought of as a disappointing evening, her little girl saw as a magical winter’s night out with her Mommy. Perception truly is reality, isn’t it, my friend?
I’m sorry I have written such a long reply, Donna but your beautiful story pulled the words right out of me!! I love you ❤️
Jean,
I really enjoyed that story of your granddaughter. We can learn so much from children. She didn’t expect more; she just enjoyed what she’d been given!
God bless you, my friend.
Donna
Laughed and cried. Loved it and love you.
Remembered you and smiled. Still have my ring. Love you.
God bless you and Bob!
Donna
What a blessing! Beautiful Photos!
Debbie,
Our daughter Kimmee captures beauty with her camera and lets me share it!
I hope you’re doing well.
God bless you.
Donna
Another one that gives one pause to appreciate all that surrounds us with its lovely beauty. Enjoy our Fall – it’s beautiful!
Mary,
I am loving every minute of this fall. Is it my imagination, or are the leaves the most beautiful they’ve ever been?
God bless!
Donna
Well….you did it again…….you blest me!!
I see your humour…..your love for God’s amazing creation. And I see yiur live for life…and to make the most of it. You certainly do Donna……no one can doubt that.
.I see yiur serious side too….and I see your love for yiur family.
I see no negativity….but a strong lady of faith. …whom I admire very much. I see a live being well lived.
And I see a royal daughter of the King of Kings.
Thank you for all your writings……which are a joy to the reader…..as you add so much of yourself in them…..and cause the reader to feel…they are right by your side.
Thank you….for being you. X
Jenny,
My Irish friend across the sea, thank you for encouraging me! I’ve enjoyed getting to know you on Facebook.
God bless!
Donna
Well, Donna, this. Friend just turned 80. Loved your story and your perspective on growing old.
Love you!!
Ruthie,
(Do people still call you that?) I’m not too far behind you! Happy birthday!
God bless!
Donna
So beautiful. Ty for sharing. I was part of South Auburn Baptist Church. Your Dad & Gerry Goding invited my sister & all of her kids plus my family to church. It made all the difference to me. I grew to love Jesus. & my church family.
Hi Joan!
Thanks for sharing this! I sent you an email just now.
God bless you and yours!
Donna