by Donna Poole
Summer didn’t behave herself this year here in Michigan. First, she cried a deluge until she ran out of tears, even forced ones, and then she decided to blast us with heat and mugginess. Some of us found it hard to remember to be grateful and remarked if we’d wanted to live in Florida we would have moved south. She followed that with one of the worst droughts we’ve had in years. Summer’s extreme moodiness made it difficult to enjoy her company. We kept looking at our watches, tapping our feet, and wondering if it was past time for her to leave. Apparently, she noticed and decided she didn’t want to leave us with bad memories. Her final few weeks with us were the summer of dreams, beautiful, warm, clear, and comfortable. The humidity was low.
During one of those lovely weeks our son John and his wife Katie took their eight, soon-to-be-nine, children on vacation. We prayed for good weather for them, but we didn’t expect anything like the beautiful days they had. We wanted them to have a fantastic vacation because it was the first they had taken away from home since their first two were very small. They rented a vacation home up north in Michigan with woods behind them and sparkling Lake Michigan down below. Ninety steps below! Playing on the beach and in the clear blue water, rock hunting, roasting marshmallows and hot dogs, throwing footballs, working on a teepee in the woods, looking for sea glass—it was a dream vacation for the kids. One of the littles had so much fun feeding the “eagles” (seagulls).
And books! All eight of them love books, even the ones who can’t read yet, so there was time for reading. But the time came for them to say goodbye, pack up, and go home to the little house and the life they love, and summer finally finished saying her lingering goodbye too.
And then fall arrived. She said, “You think that was beautiful, just see what I’m going to give you!” And so far, she’s kept her promise. Early autumn has been amazing, the weather that is. I just wish I’d been able to enjoy it more. I’ve spent most of it sleeping and trying to survive.
My cancer treatment, the same one I’ve been on for four years and four months, threw me a curve ball that knocked me down for the count. Forgive the mixed metaphor. I’m not going to give you my long list of complaints; I will tell you that for a few weeks even Tylenol and Ibuprofen together didn’t touch the pain. The extreme exhaustion was a blessing; when I slept, I didn’t have to feel anything. And I didn’t have to wonder about the future. I didn’t have to ask myself if I too am saying a lingering goodbye. I’ve had to have more frequent scans since January because they’ve been questionable. After my July scans my oncology team decided I needed a biopsy and my pulmonologist agreed. When they weren’t able to do the biopsy, they decided to repeat one of the scans in three months instead. That’s happening in a few days.
Scans have been part of my life for over five years. They aren’t my favorite thing, and I watch my patient portal closely for results, but they never terrify me. Why not? Even if I am getting closer to the end of my lingering goodbye here, I know I’m getting closer to an eternal sunrise. Here’s how I know. Long ago, when I was just a little girl, I heard, much to my shock, that I wasn’t going to heaven just because my parents were or because I went to Sunday school and church every week.
I could have jumped right out of my little chair when the children’s church teacher made it clear to I was responsible for my own eternal destiny. I felt like covering my ears. My destiny better not involve me being good; I was famous even at seven for being the opposite.
Lucky for me (and you) getting to heaven didn’t require me to behave better. No one can be perfect, and that’s what heaven requires. Jesus lived the perfect life we can’t. I thought I knew all about Jesus. He’s God the Son, born in a manger at Christmas time. He died on a cross, rose from the dead, and went back to heaven. But what did that have to do with a naughty seven-year-old girl who really didn’t want to try to be good?
Mrs. Green, the teacher, explained in a way I understand what Jesus did on the cross. He took into his heart all the sins everyone had ever done or ever will do and felt the guilt of them all. He not only died himself on the cross, he killed those sins, made them to no longer exist. If I knew I was a sinner and wanted him to forgive me, he would make me clean. There would be no sin to keep me from God the Father who loved me so much. Not only would I go to heaven when I died, God himself would live with me all my life. It didn’t take me long to make that exchange when we prayed: I quietly asked him to save me, take away my sin, and give me heaven!
So, do you think I instantly became a little angel who never again did anything wrong? God put a verse in the Bible especially for people like me who have trouble being good, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” –I John 1:9
But my life changed that day. Life here became sweeter than ever; I’ve always loved life. But I started to listen for a song I’d never heard, watch for a country road I’d never walked, search for the perfume of a flower not of this earth. Eternity was calling my name, sometimes when I was swinging at twilight, sometimes when the slant of the sun caught my heart with its beauty, or sometimes right before I fell asleep at night. I’ve always known a better world was coming. I felt it in my heart, and the Bible promised it.
And even heaven, as wonderful as that will be when all the children are sitting at the Big Table and the love of the Father warms us all, is only the beginning of our eternity. We who know Jesus have no idea of the unimaginable happiness waiting for us.
“He keeps His good wine until last. His gifts grow deeper, richer, fuller, right through the eternal years.” –John Henry Jowett
The Bible only gives us a hint about eternity. It may hold far more than we imagine.
“The resurrection of the saints is not the last thing, it is the beginning. Do not limit God and humanity by the end of this age, or by the millennium. Everything so far has been preparatory. Stretching away beyond me, I dream dreams of unborn ages and new creations, and marvelous processions out of the being of God, but through them all, the risen Christ and the risen saints will be the central revelations of holiness and of life.” –G. Campbell Morgan
In eterntiy the weather won’t have any temper tantrums, and neither will we. We’ll be happier than the happiest of children on the best of vacations. I don’t think there will be ninety steps, and if there are, we’ll have boundless energy to run up and down them! There won’t be the lingering goodbyes we’re all saying here, only one long, eternal hello, and love that lasts forever. Not many more sunsets and it will be time to go Home. I hope I see you there!
The end
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These blogs are now available in book form on Amazon:
Backroad Ramblings Volume One: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
Backroad Ramblings Volume Two: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
Backroad Ramblings Volume Three: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter
Backroad Ramblings Volume Four: Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter










